Have you noticed marketing trends lately? Those responsible for marketing products and services to Americans understand that family is “in.” A greater number of employers realize that they must consider the family needs of their employees if they desire to keep good, capable personnel.
Your teaching ministry to children can be strengthened considerably if you view your student within the context of his or her family as well. Teachers often spend a significant amount of energy, time, and even money to improve the total classroom impact for the students but give little attention to the huge role parents play in the learning cycle. Most teachers know such passages as Deuteronomy 6:6–9 or Ephesians 6:4, which stress the parental responsibility in the spiritual nurturing of children, yet they may fail to draw the parents into the teaching/learning process that occurs through Sunday School or other similar opportunities.
Not only is parental involvement important Biblically, but it is also important also practically. Given the one or two hours a week that your student spends in your classroom, you really need someone else to capitalize on the other 105 waking hours each student has.
Two scenarios are typically displayed within the children’s ministry program. In the first setting, a teacher notices that parents are not involved, so the teacher tells the parents to get involved with their children. The end result is that the parents may feel frustrated due to lack of specific suggestions or due to personal time limitations. The teacher may become resentful toward the parents for their “apathy.” If unchecked, tension may surface between parent and teacher.
In a second setting, the teacher notices that parents are not involved but says nothing to address the need. The lack of perceived parental support fosters a negative attitude toward the parents. Both of these miss the end goal of parental involvement and support.
Getting Parents on Your Team
An important first step to getting parents involved is to assume that the parents of your students have good intentions. Most parents want to be good parents. They desire to understand and help their children.
Are you in doubt? Check the parents’ perspective: Why do they bring their kids to your class? What do they want for their children? Even if they are unbelievers who do not attend church, their actions may indicate a value for spiritual training. Recognize that parents often do what was modeled for them. If you keep this basic principle in mind, it may help you in your ability to work with them. At times your parents may feel guilt for their parental shortcomings and therefore avoid any situations (i.e., your classroom or personal conversations with you) where they may feel that guilt more strongly.
Another essential element in building an alliance between your classroom and the home is simply asking for parental feedback. Consider creating a parental survey using yes/no or true/false answers. You are likely to gain feedback if the question-and answer process can be done quickly and efficiently.
Activities That Build Bridges to the Home
Expand your ministry to include the parents rather than just the children who enter your classroom. Look for creative ways to help equip and affirm parents by planning some family-oriented activities or special days in your classroom. One tool we have used in our ministry is creating a little half-sheet summary of the day. Included are the lesson goals, an overview of the learning activities, and a review of the application points. Some of the best ways to build bridges to the home will happen more informally. But do not assume that “informal” means “unintentional”!
Here are a few ideas to consider:
- Write personal notes of appreciation to the parents. Personal note writing is almost a lost art, but those who receive them are likely to hang on to the notes for a long time!
- Look for or create opportunities to talk with parents at church functions or fellowship times. It is very natural to spend just a few minutes connecting with the parents of your students.
- Phone the parents, but not just when you need something or have a problem. Call to affirm a positive action that you have observed in the parent’s child. Thank the parent for building that trait into his or her child.
- Visit the parents at home. If you design the visit with a delivery of a birthday card or balloon to the child, it is far less intimidating to the parent. This kind of special attention reaps huge dividends for both the child and the parents.
- Provide parenting resources or offer to help find them if you uncover a special circumstance or problem they are facing. Consult your pastor if you need extra help in finding the right items.
- Plan a “mom/child” or “dad/child” activity for your students in which they can have fun and learn together. Some parents will need this kind of prompt to help them stay connected.
- Invite one family to your home to enjoy pizza or a cookout. It is rare that a children’s teacher would go to this effort, but it communicates, “You are important!”
Be careful not to view all family situations as identical. Churches risk hurting families that do not fit the traditional family mold. Single-parent households typically have very limited time, money, and energy resources, which can create incredible fatigue and even discouragement.
Blended families have expressed hurt that they don’t seem to “fit” like other families in the church. Even families with dual incomes talk about the pressures they face, since both parents are out of the home for significant hours each day. Whether these issues are real or imagined, the teacher should try to “come alongside” and encourage these families in their efforts—not just place one more list of expectations in front of their eyes.
The bottom line is this: it is very difficult to disciple a child over a long period of time without impacting the parents in some way. As you are working on your lesson, your visuals, and your total learning environment, do not forget to consider your most powerful teaching resource…the parents of your students. It will improve your teaching, and it will strengthen your church family as well.
